Planet of the Apes: Apes as People

In a ground-breaking case at the Mödling district court, just southwest of Vienna, Austria, a judge is to rule over "the humanness of a chimp"– specifically, over whether it deserves a legal guardian.

The chimpanzee in question is called Hiasl. He was born in the Sierra Leone jungle in 1981, captured by animal traders and illegally shipped to Austria, destined for a vivisection lab. Customs officials intercepted the crate and Hiasl was handed to an animal sanctuary. Now, years later, the sanctuary has gone bankrupt and Hiasl is to be sent to a zoo.

This is the most ridiculous legal item I've seen a long time. Of course the chimp is NOT a human. To say otherwise is to say that we, (you, me, your friends, etc.) are chimps. Clearly not the case.

Nonetheless, as an animal lover (dogs, in particular) I should think the court could see it's way to appointing a caregiver for the chimp without equating the chimp to a human. The caregiver would have certain rights as an owner and thereby take care of the animal. Anything more is an insult to humans.