New U.S. Science Policy

The following is a parody of our current policy on science in the United States. However, those of us who work with policy makers (I do so in the military community) and with analysts and researchers know that this isn't really a joke. One of my collegues told me, "Science is dead." He does research with the Navy, by the way, and there's little funding going on there, too. There is, overall, little funding for science today and even less of an appreciation for whatever science is done.

Ask yourself: How many people do you know who care about science, math, or engineering? Not only that, but how many can even understand anything about science? I believe that we, as a nation, have become so ignorant of what science is, how it's done, what it can and cannot do, that we have no comprehension of this most important endeavor. Furthermore, I think the Dilbert Principle is at work.

The Dilbert Principle, from the book of the same title by cartoonist Scott Adams, states that anything you don't understand is easy to do. Thus, if don't know how a satellite stays in orbit, it's an easy concept nonetheless. Applying the principle gives rise to the idea that science need not be explored because it's easy anyway. Sure, you may not understand it, but so what? It's easy so why study or fund it.

What's more, and here I'll rant just a little more so please bear with me, there is also the arrogance principle at work. This idea (of my own nomenclature but I'm sure others are equally familiar with it) says that whatever I know is all there is to know. It is a corrolary to the Dilbert Principle. It's the idea that allows people with only a little knowledge, and sometimes not even that much, to make statements with such authority and boldness that it challenges listeners to question them. Oftentimes, the speaker isn't challenged and the listeners, who don't know better, accept the statement as true when there is little to actually substantiate it. The Dilbert Principle says that what I don't know is easy to know, the arrogance corollary says that if I know a little, I know it all. Both are a sign of our times, sorry to say.

Here's the excerpt:

2005-03-04 Don't Look, Don't Tell

Many scientists are confused.
We have a remedy for them.

At a recent science meeting in Washington, DC, we encountered many
scientists, from the United States and elsewhere, who said they were
confused and troubled. "What," most everyone was asking, "has happened
to the US government's policy about science?"

The question has a happy answer. The US now, at long last, has a
coherent, simple science policy. You can state it in four words:

The following is from Mini-AIR, the newsletter of the Journal of Irreproducible Results.

Don't Look, Don't Tell

This is a practical policy, because scientists are a pain in the neck.
They often insist on digging for "the real story" of how something
works. Told about a plan to build or do something, they try to "figure
out" -- in advance -- how well that plan is going to work.

Political leaders -- the modern, superior ones -- have learned to trust
their gut feelings. That's what brought them their success. They know
that, in the long run, problems always manage to work themselves out one
way or another. Scientists, who often nervously distrust their own gut
instinct, can learn from the logic of their superiors.

The new policy -- Don't Look, Don't Tell -- is a lesson for all of us.
Please spread the word.